President or Beer Buddy

I hear people (especially women) say all the time, "Yeah, Hillary's smart and experienced, but I just don't like her."

I used to hear people say about W, our Fearless Leader, "I like him. I'd like to have a beer with him."

I don't need to like my president. I'm not against it, but my criteria for voting for president do not include wanting him or her to be fun at a freaking cookout.

Romney, too

http://www.snopes.com/politics/romney/dog.asp

Fuckers.

Fuckabee Huckabee redux

Check this out:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/huckabee/dog.asp

Ass-kickers for President

I've heard people criticize Hillary Clinton for trying to fuck up the Nevada caucuses. According to the complainers, she's trying to disenfranchise voters, and that's not something dems should do. That's a tactic of the right.

Well grow up, pussies.

I'm heartened that there are dems somewhere that can be streetfighters. That kind of thing wins. Do you think we had the last eight years because everyone played nice? Yes, it lowers the tenor of the debates. Yes, it cheapens the concepts of freedom and liberty. But if people like Karl Rove are to be muzzled, then the fight is going to have to be with his tactics.

Does anyone remember a few years ago when the right (Rush Limbaugh started it, I think), pushed the concept that the dems "hated" W? The left responded with some namby-pamby answer along the lines of, "No, we don't hate him. We just hate his policies."

Well, wah.

The right answer was, "Fucking A. We hate the motherfucker and we're not giving the country over to him."

The electorate responds to people they think are capable of kicking ass. It's the "I want to have a beer with him test." People want to have beers with people who seem like winners, not wusses.

Say what you will about Hillary. She's an ass-kicker. That will serve her well if she gets the nomination, because the right is full of liars and cheats.

Do you want to be pure, or do you want to win and change the way the world looks?

I Wanna Be President, So Trust Me

Ok, imagine you are a guy from Hope, Arkansas, and you have decided you want to be President. Imagine, too, you're doing pretty well, that people think you're folksy and kind. They think that even though you are a right-winger, you're not all judgmental. You just like God. And you hate sins but not sinners.

So far so good, right.

But there's this other dude, from a weird religion, and he is likely to kick your ass. So what do you do? You're doing so well with positive messages, like "I'm a Republican, but I'm not mad at anybody." Still, playing nice is threatening to make you an also-ran. You do not want to go back to Arkansas, not when there's all that marble and limestone to check out in DC.

So you bite the bullet and spend some dough on an attack ad. A "Romney's Health Plan: $50 for an abortion" kind of thing. That ought to scare the shit out of the voters.

But will you run that ad? No. Why? Because maybe it will piss off the voters. Did you think of this before you spent the money on the production? Of course. Now you have the ad, and the only thing you have to do is get it shown without making people mad.

How? As Pooh said, "Think think think."

Ah, who are you kidding? You knew all along.

You go on the news and you tell people you almost went negative. But then you decided that sort of thing has to stop with you. So you tell everyone you're not going to run the ad. Now they can't be mad at you for being negative. But you also give the ad you're not going to run to the news people. So they run it. Yay! They run it, and they run it for free! Woooooooo!

You know you're smart enough to be President now. You're saving money, getting the word out, and looking like a good guy, too. Who could see through that?

Maybe Mitt's new campaign slogan should be "Fuckabee Huckabee." Well, if it weren't so negative.

Buy me a car, daddy

Cadillac has a new commercial in which a hot chick drives her new Escalade, enumerating all the expensive yet shitty gifts her husband has bought her over the years. The upshot is, she likes her new SUV.

Now, from what I can tell, this chick is A++ primo pussy. She's obviously sold her booty for whatever booty she can collect from the guy who pays her rent. And I know there's no getting rid of the whole pussy for payment concept here in the US (and maybe anywhere).

But damn, does it make me want to buy a Cadillac for anyone? Nope, I don't think so. Of course, I no longer have a succubus attached to me to tell me that I do want to buy her a Cad. So I'm lucky.

I bet the ad works, however.

You poor sons of bitches.

Today's racism scandal

Ok, so. Lots of eople defended Michael Vick's dog fighting by saying it was cultural and it was the way he was raised.

Well, fine.

Shouldn't that apply to Dog the Bounty Hunter?

Of course, both are assholes. But still.