Still amazing

A guy who has some dough is married with kids and bored. He starts to fuck around, even going to pros. He does his best to hide what he's doing from his family.

I have no complaint about any of it. I've been married. I know what it's like to sleep with a woman who doesn't want to fuck (or at least, doesn't want to fuck me).

If you're a crusading law-and-order prosecutor, however, you're a hypocrite.

Sorry, Elliot. You fucked up.

But I get it. I understand everything he did. Well, except spending $4000 on a couple of hours of snatch, primo though it must have been. I mean, come on! Four grand?! Motherfucker. (I will say, however, that I once averaged out how often I got laid in my very long marriage, then divided it into what the marriage cost me, dollarwise. As a practical matter, I probably did spend $4k a pop. And it was harder to get her to consent than it would have been with a pro. I assume cash buys some acting ability. C'est la vie.)

Elliot is going to land on his feet. He's a rich guy already. He made almost two million bucks in 2006. With his business and political connections, he'll find a good gig making a lot of money, whether he's disbarred or not. He just won't be able to run for anything again.

He's proven, though, that the need for strange is a powerful motivator. If someone had taken him aside (where's Jiminy Cricket when you need him) and asked him if he were willing to give up his office and family for a couple of hours with a pretty, petite girl named "Kristen," he might have thought twice. But it's not the stakes that will stop someone from doing it. It's the likelihood of getting caught.

What Elliot didn't count on was that he'd made some enemies over the years. I suspect people were gleeful to figure out he was stepping out on his wife.

If nothing else, he threw the right a bone. I mean, the last four or five big sex scandals were gay Republicans. The right needed this. Of course, at least Elliot likes girls, same as Bill. There isn't much to criticize.

Amazing

So, last week, my computer, which runs Microsoft Vista (which sucks, bad), automatically downloaded some updates. After that, the machine ran horribly--it was choppy, hesitant, slow.

Luckily, I figured out that heaving the machine against the wall was not the answer. Instead, I removed all but two of the updates (which are apparently not removable).

I then changed my settings so updates don't take place automatically.

In the words of The Who: I won't be fooled again.

Next time, Mac.

President or Beer Buddy

I hear people (especially women) say all the time, "Yeah, Hillary's smart and experienced, but I just don't like her."

I used to hear people say about W, our Fearless Leader, "I like him. I'd like to have a beer with him."

I don't need to like my president. I'm not against it, but my criteria for voting for president do not include wanting him or her to be fun at a freaking cookout.

Romney, too

http://www.snopes.com/politics/romney/dog.asp

Fuckers.

Fuckabee Huckabee redux

Check this out:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/huckabee/dog.asp

Ass-kickers for President

I've heard people criticize Hillary Clinton for trying to fuck up the Nevada caucuses. According to the complainers, she's trying to disenfranchise voters, and that's not something dems should do. That's a tactic of the right.

Well grow up, pussies.

I'm heartened that there are dems somewhere that can be streetfighters. That kind of thing wins. Do you think we had the last eight years because everyone played nice? Yes, it lowers the tenor of the debates. Yes, it cheapens the concepts of freedom and liberty. But if people like Karl Rove are to be muzzled, then the fight is going to have to be with his tactics.

Does anyone remember a few years ago when the right (Rush Limbaugh started it, I think), pushed the concept that the dems "hated" W? The left responded with some namby-pamby answer along the lines of, "No, we don't hate him. We just hate his policies."

Well, wah.

The right answer was, "Fucking A. We hate the motherfucker and we're not giving the country over to him."

The electorate responds to people they think are capable of kicking ass. It's the "I want to have a beer with him test." People want to have beers with people who seem like winners, not wusses.

Say what you will about Hillary. She's an ass-kicker. That will serve her well if she gets the nomination, because the right is full of liars and cheats.

Do you want to be pure, or do you want to win and change the way the world looks?

I Wanna Be President, So Trust Me

Ok, imagine you are a guy from Hope, Arkansas, and you have decided you want to be President. Imagine, too, you're doing pretty well, that people think you're folksy and kind. They think that even though you are a right-winger, you're not all judgmental. You just like God. And you hate sins but not sinners.

So far so good, right.

But there's this other dude, from a weird religion, and he is likely to kick your ass. So what do you do? You're doing so well with positive messages, like "I'm a Republican, but I'm not mad at anybody." Still, playing nice is threatening to make you an also-ran. You do not want to go back to Arkansas, not when there's all that marble and limestone to check out in DC.

So you bite the bullet and spend some dough on an attack ad. A "Romney's Health Plan: $50 for an abortion" kind of thing. That ought to scare the shit out of the voters.

But will you run that ad? No. Why? Because maybe it will piss off the voters. Did you think of this before you spent the money on the production? Of course. Now you have the ad, and the only thing you have to do is get it shown without making people mad.

How? As Pooh said, "Think think think."

Ah, who are you kidding? You knew all along.

You go on the news and you tell people you almost went negative. But then you decided that sort of thing has to stop with you. So you tell everyone you're not going to run the ad. Now they can't be mad at you for being negative. But you also give the ad you're not going to run to the news people. So they run it. Yay! They run it, and they run it for free! Woooooooo!

You know you're smart enough to be President now. You're saving money, getting the word out, and looking like a good guy, too. Who could see through that?

Maybe Mitt's new campaign slogan should be "Fuckabee Huckabee." Well, if it weren't so negative.